Yesterday was two years. I've taken a shower the evening of both anniversaries during the 10 minute window I believe Enzo pulled the trigger. It's the only place I feel safe from the clock. I can't stare at it. So sometime during my shower, the minute my son fired his gun comes and goes. Or at least that's the plan. I miscalculated the time I was in the shower last night. When I looked at my phone, it was the exact minute he sent out the Tweet: "after careful consideration I have decided to exit the simulation. I love you all so much and I will see you in the next one." I hate 9:01 pm on February 28th. A jolt went thru my heart. I got out of the shower too soon. Unable to decide what to do, I stood there. I took my nightly medication. And stood there. Shouldn't I be doing something? Some action at the moment my son took his life that would honor him? Something. Anything. But I didn't. I stood there. Then I went to bed. I've done a lot to honor...
Sometimes it's crazy. Sometimes it's calm.