It's been 14 years. And still I think about it. Every Mother's Day. I was was newly married and found out I was pregnant. I was about 5 weeks along. And ecstatic! No one can tell me life does not begin at conception. Motherhood starts the very second you know your pregnant. Maternal instinct takes over. And it' never stops. Ever. No matter what. It was Christmas Eve. And I was headed to my grandmother's house. Cramps started. Horrible cramps. Within two hours I was bleeding. That moment... that one second I saw what was happening, something inside me changed. I was losing my child. As the protector of this child, I could do nothing to stop it. It was the most helpless feeling in the world. I had to finish the Christmas activities for that night and the next day. No one knew. It was an Oscar worthy performance. I lost my child on Christmas Day. Recovery was almost impossible. I relied heavily on my faith. Months later, in May, I was attending church on Mot...
Sometimes it's crazy. Sometimes it's calm.