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So Goddamn Proud of Myself

 
by April Davis

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments. In every area of life - professional, personal, intimate.You name it. And for the first time in a long time, I’m starting to let them land.

I didn’t always feel worthy of them. Not until I realized just how fucking hard I’ve worked to get here.

Years of facing the ugliest parts of myself. Years of cutting off people who drained me, building boundaries from scratch, walking away from spaces that didn’t sit right - or letting them walk away from me.

That kind of work doesn’t show up in highlight reels. But it’s the reason I’m standing here now.

In this space.

I used to shrink when people noticed. Literally. Like I didn’t know what to do with being praised, or celebrated, or acknowledged for the “something” they were drawn to. But I’m learning not to flinch anymore. Not to minimize what I’ve grown into.

I’ve faced the version of me that stayed quiet. That played along. That never spoke up. I hated her for a long time - for letting shit slide that she knew damn well wasn’t okay. But I didn’t stay there. I changed some things. I became someone else.

And now, here I am. Smack dab in the middle of life. Thriving.

Not apologizing for it. Not dimming it. Just existing in it - and letting people notice if they want to.

I am so goddamn proud of myself.

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